My experience with anxieties...

Anxieties... It's a word people throw around a lot, and I don't particularly like using, but I can finally admit that I have tons of them...

They are defined by the NHS as:

"Anxiety is a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe."

And surprisingly they are more common than you think. I've listed some of the common symptoms but you can have either some or all of them:

  • Tiredness
  • Fast or an irregular heartbeat (Palpitations)
  • Trembling/shaking
  • Panic disorders
  • Phobias

And they became especially heightened over the Christmas period. I found that I would spend my days sitting in my pyjamas lying on the sofa painting a smile on my face. I felt happy to spend some time with my family, and I had a really good time with them over Christmas, but it was that period in between.

New Years Eve especially I sat in my pyjamas for the entire day, and when it got to 6 o'clock I made sure I hadn't eaten and hadn't showered to use that as my excuse not to go out. But I was eventually persuaded and put on my cute baggy t shirt and went to the pub. I felt so anxious going in there but I smiled and chatted to people like nothing was wrong...But at 11.30, literally only half an hour until the new year, I felt like I couldn't be there anymore, I had to leave and get out of those four walls filled with all of those people and go back to the safety and comfort of my own home. Thankfully for me, James is incredibly understanding and came back with me and almost instantly I felt better.

Now that I think about it I think that I should have just stayed for that last half an hour and tried to get into the party spirit, but that anxious feeling doesn't stop just because its a special occasion unfortunately! 

Some people may not understand these anxieties because all of my social media accounts show either positive quotes, trips out or myself with a smile on my face. But anxieties are not something that appear 24 hours a day, plus it can be easy to paint a smile on and lie on social media. That is why I wanted to write this blog post. Honestly is the best policy and I wanted to show the two sides to me. 

Although I have now quit my job to go back to university to study Food and Nutrition, a topic I feel really passionate about, I have a great network of friends all over the country, and my family is closer than it has ever been, anxieties are still there and creep into your head from time to time. 

I find that it is still holding me back slightly now, I still find that I am distancing myself from my friends because I am worried about what they think, what I look like, and whether we 

I still suffer with them now and again, but I now try to keep a positive view on everything and ignore the negative thoughts. My new years resolution for 2017 is to be positive about at least one thing everyday and to make sure that I talk to people when I am feeling down. It's okay to talk to people, it's surprising how many people suffer with anxieties and how well people actually understand! 

So, I know I've probably been going on and on, but i just wanted to put my experience out there.

Love Lucy xoxo

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